Day 23. It’s Not a Formula
I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?
Jason Bourne, The Bourne Identity
As we conclude the second week of our Novena, we look back to see that we have come to understand something of what supports the shaky three-legged table that is our life. Our “soil sampling” has uncovered the sand, clay and stones that support our lives. Still, it’s only an initial exploration. We’ve only touched on the most common things people found their lives on: dreams of escape and of future glory; being “cool” and seeking social acceptance; the illusion of self-sufficiency and the exalted “I”. Though some of these offer more stable support than others, none can hold up over the long haul. The intense pressure of the Ground of Reality is not to be underestimated. Still, neither should we underestimate our own resistance to any unnecessary tinkering with our foundations.
I want you to be forewarned. Our objective from here is to shift the pillars of your life to more solid ground, onto the Cornerstone(s) of Jesus Christ. If this discomforts you and you want to end this Novena prematurely, I ask you this: what have you got to lose? Even if you’re not ready to make any major internal changes, there’s still value in going forward. To pursue a vocation is to offer yourself freely and completely to God. That takes trust. Where do you think that trust comes from? Do you think it will simply appear out of thin air? It starts now. If you don’t trust God to change you, then at least pray that God will make you willing to trust Him to change you.
Though some will no doubt be pessimistic about the journey into self-knowledge and change, others will make the opposite mistake. Some will instead be expecting too much.
The purpose of this Novena is to place you in the right spot to consider God’s plan for your life prayerfully. It is not some magic formula or special computer program that pops out an answer once you enter all the relevant data. Discernment, as I have often said, is not about a formula. It’s about a relationship. It’s about The Relationship. Reading these reflections daily and writing in your journal and meeting with your Discernment Advisor isn’t going to accomplish anything if you’re not opening your heart to Jesus Christ. You have to really tell Him what’s on your heart; dare to be honest. Don’t sugar coat your responses or tell Him what you think He wants to hear. Obedience begins with an honest assessment of where you’re at right now. So have confidence to “be real” with the Lord.
Once you’ve opened up to Him, be prepared for what He has to say. You’ll be surprised to find that His first response is very gentle and filled with overflowing love. I always expect that He’s angry with me. I feel that as soon as I start listening to Him, He’s going to tell me everything I’m doing wrong. Amazingly, He doesn’t. Instead, He expresses to me His great pleasure that I would be willing to open my heart to following His will. He encourages me and assures me of His loving presence and eagerness to assist me in this closer walk called discipleship. Please accept the Lord’s assurance today.
Jesus called his disciples “friends.” This is the particular relationship He invites you to. If you already experience this relationship, blessed are you. If this is news to you, you’re about to experience something that is wonderful beyond words. Intimacy with Jesus is the most intoxicating, most exciting, most satisfying experience you can have in this life. In fact, once you’ve drawn near to Jesus, you may find other things in your life to be a little drab and lacking in something. Whom have I in heaven but you? And when you are with me, the earth delights me not. (Psalm 73:25)
Imagine that you are a peasant who has eaten nothing but gruel and oatmeal for your entire life. You don’t mind eating gruel because it’s all you’ve ever known. One day, at the invitation of the King, you go to the castle and are permitted to enter the Royal Courts. Though you expect His Majesty to be aloof and unconcerned with someone as lowly as you, you are surprised when he greets you warmly and invites you to taste something from his table. You are overwhelmed by the sensational flavor of this royal food. It’s incredible! The single morsel that you taste is so far beyond anything you’ve ever eaten, that suddenly all else is without flavor by comparison.
Such is the experience of living as a disciple of Christ. We take on the burden of discipleship expecting hardship, struggle and many sharp rebukes for our constant failures. Instead, we find that although there are trials, Jesus’ words prove true: “my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:30) Jesus offers us this invitation as well to “taste and see the goodness of the Lord.” (Ps. 34:8)
Novena Prayer
Jesus says: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Pier Giorgio responds: Our life, in order to be Christian, has to be a continual renunciation, a continual sacrifice. But this is not difficult, if one thinks what these few years passed in suffering are, compared with eternal happiness where joy will have no measure or end, and where we shall have unimaginable peace.
Let us pray: Blessed Pier Giorgio, teach me that I must be able to mourn if I will be able to rejoice. Show me how to face my sorrow, and not avoid it or pretend that it does not exist. Help me to enter into any present sorrow, so that my soul can empty itself and be filled with God’s peace.
Blessed Pier Giorgio, I ask for your intercession in obtaining from God, Who is our Consoler, all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I confidently turn to you for help in my present need: (in your own words, ask the Father to enable you to see yourself in his eyes, with his loving gaze).
A Book of Prayers in Honor of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, by Rev. Timothy E. Deeter
PLEASE NOTE: Tomorrow’s meditation includes the next consecration for the Ebenezer stone. Allow an additional 10 minutes for the prayers. As before, you’ll need olive oil, a teaspoon , a small dish or plate, a candle and the small stone you wrote your name on – your stone of help. You’ll also need a towel or some paper towels.
Make it My Own
Daily Discernment Workbook
A QUOTE TO NOTE
1. To Be with Jesus: What was it Like?
A noted theologian once wrote about Jesus’ answer to those who asked why his disciples didn’t fast (Mk. 2:18-22). The author explains that it is difficult for us to understand how happy people were in our Lord’s company. They wouldn’t dream of fasting! The author, Edward Schillebeeckx, painted a vivid picture of the satisfaction and well-being Jesus communicated by his presence at table. No wonder he was a favorite at parties!
Disciples are delighted to dine with Jesus.
The disciples’ being together with … Jesus is in essence a festive celebration of good fellowship, a meal prepared by Jesus himself, …in which there is salvation. The time that Jesus spent among people who, though perhaps failing as yet to understand him, followed him with enthusiasm and in total commitment is a very special time….they were certainly carried away by their master, Jesus – they simply adored him because they knew: in him we are aware of receiving a gift, a present from God to us….They (had with him)* a sense of well-being and happiness….Whereas John (the Baptist)’s call to conversion was essentially bound up with ascetic, penitential practices, the call of Jesus seems to have a fundamental connection with being a table-companion, eating and drinking together with Jesus….
Edward Schillebeeckx,
Jesus: An Experiment in Christology [1]
*clarification added
Picture it. Imagine yourself at table with Jesus. Look around the room at the other disciples. Do you feel the privilege and joy of being among such holy men? Now notice that you are seated next to Jesus – how does he look at you? Write down some things you notice as you picture Jesus.
Draw close. Imagine him inviting you to rest your head against his chest in close friendship. How does it feel to be so near him and hear his heartbeat; his breathing; his voice; his laughter?
2. Getting Personal
Another spiritual writer helps us make the connection between Jesus in the Bible and the deep friendship we can experience with him now.
During every moment of his life, Jesus thought of me, and loved me. In all his sufferings, he had my needs in his mind, and in his view. In all his joys, his heart was set on sharing these joys with me. In all his labors; in all his teaching, he never ceased to have my holiness in view; one of his greatest tortures was his longing for my happiness and my love. He knew that he had done and suffered more than a hundred times enough to make me holy; to make me a saint. He saw clearly that the only obstacle to the achievement of his cherished purpose for me was my own refusal to trust him, to believe in him, to cast all my cares upon him – to take him at his word, and to submit to his easy yoke and to the light burden which he had specially planned for me.
M. Eugene Boylan, Difficulties in Mental Prayer [2]
What do I find wonderful in this description?
What do I find hardest to accept personally?
Talk to Jesus about this. What does he say?
SAINTS SAID IT
3. St. Teresa of Avila on the Lord’s Friendship
O my Lord, how You are the true friend; and how powerful! When You desire You can love, and You never stop loving those who love You! All things praise You, Lord of the world! Oh, who will cry out for You, to tell everyone how faithful you are to Your friends! All things fail; You, Lord of all, never fail! Little it is, that which You allow the one who loves You to suffer! Oh my Lord! How delicately and smoothly and delightfully You treat them! Would that no one ever pause to love anyone but You! It seems, Lord, You try with rigor the person who loves You so that in extreme trial she might understand the greatest extreme of Your love. Oh my God, who has the understanding, the learning, and the new words with which to extol Your works as my soul understands them? All fails me, my Lord; but if you do not abandon me, I will not fail You. Let all learned men rise up against me, let all created things persecute me, let the devils torment me, do not You fail me Lord, for I already have experience of the gain that comes from the way You rescue the one who trusts in You alone. [3]
How would I answer a friend who claims that only saints can have this kind of relationship with Jesus?
What part of Teresa’s description do I find most appealing?
If I feel led to, I’ll invite Jesus to come into my life in a new way right now so that I can have a close friendship with him. I can ask my older sister St. Teresa to intercede for me in this request.
Conclude with
“Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be.
World without end, Amen.”
[0] lead quote - The Bourne Identity, Universal Pictures, 2002
[1] Edward Schillebeeckx, Jesus: An Experiment in Christology, from the Collected Works of Edward Schillebeeckx, Vol. VI, London, T & T Clark, Bloomsbury Publishing, 2014 p. 181f NOTE: The writings of Schillebeeckx should be handled with care. The Vatican’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith rejected certain of his claims, and took disciplinary action on several occasions.
[2] M. Eugene Boylan, Difficulties in Mental Prayer, Princeton, NJ, Scepter Publishers, 1997 p. 160
[3] The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila, Vol. I, The Book of Her Life, tr. by Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D. and Otilio Rodriguez, O.C.D., Washington, D.C., ICS Publications, 2nd edition, 1987, p. 221