Day 39. The Fourth Leg
Your “souls I would without hesitation call altars, on which Christ is daily offered for the redemption of the body.”
St. Ambrose, Concerning Virgins, to Marcellina his sister
Through the sacramental life of the Church, through daily prayer, through direct and even miraculous interventions and graces, through counseling, through spiritual direction and through the events and experiences of each day, Jesus is continually bringing about healing in our lives. His desire is to set us free. But he doesn’t remove every hurt. In heaven, it is written, God will “dry every tear,” (Rev. 7:17) but in this life there will always be some measure of suffering. As our Lady said to St. Bernadette of Lourdes, “I cannot promise to make you happy in this life, only in the next.” Why doesn’t Jesus take all my hurts away right now? We return for a final reflection on the table of Self Knowledge.
When Jesus unlocks the chains and releases the hurts (though not all) from our Level of Memory, he is not content to simply let them fall to the Ground of Reality. Jesus fills those hurts with his presence, as we described yesterday, and in so doing he fires them in the furnace of his love, hammers them and shapes them into something different from painful iron balls. It may take a long time for you to recognize what the Great Craftsman is forming with his heavenly tools. Gradually you see it. In time you recognize his plan. A fourth pillar is forged from the direct, personal experience of Jesus’ saving power. The Lord places this pillar under the shaky table and suddenly it becomes steady, firm and secure. The fourth leg, forged in suffering, made of iron, is our Healed Hurts. The Hurts he heals are not merely our emotional wounds. He heals our wounded souls. This is the pillar of our personal experience of God’s salvation, of God’s powerful deliverance.
The name of Jesus is the cornerstone that grounds this pillar. God’s salvation and healing come to us through faith in the power of Jesus’ name. In the Acts of the Apostles, Peter tells the crippled beggar, “I have neither silver nor gold, but what I do have I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean, rise and walk.” The man stands immediately and begins praising God. To the crowd that quickly gathers, Peter emphasizes the source of the healing, “By faith in his name, this man, whom you see now, his name has made strong…” (Acts 3:6,16).
We, too, stand secure by faith in the name of Jesus. No longer is the table shaking, unstable and easily upset by trials and difficulty. Firmly founded on the Cornerstone of Christ it stands square and secure on four legs. And no longer does it appear to our view as a mere table. Suddenly we recognize what the table has been all along: it is an altar. An altar is a place for making sacrifice, a place of offering to God.
What do we have, then, to offer on this altar? Ourselves, first and foremost. As we have come to see, the ‘me’ that moves about in my Level of Awareness must become a gift of self, consciously and completely given over to God. Here too we make an offering of our hurts; of our remaining sufferings which we join with the cross of Jesus Christ. In him, we have the strength to bear whatever hurts remain and even to rejoice in the measure we share his sufferings for the sake of the Church. With St. Paul we can say, “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church” (Col. 1:24).
Epilogue
“For the Lord himself, with a word of command, with the voice of an archangel and with the trumpet of God, will come down from heaven, and the dead in Christ will rise first.”
1 Thessalonians 4:16
On the Last Day, scripture says, we will hear the sound of a trumpet. It will be the definitive sign of the end of the world. It will also signal a new beginning. That clear, resonating tone, I believe, will be the opening note of a great symphony. The heavenly orchestra will then erupt in beautiful magnificence – performing a musical masterpiece which has been prepared for all time and which will be played for all eternity. At the sound of that first note, the heavens and the earth will be shaken with such violent and thunderous force that only those things which are standing on the most secure foundations and built without imperfection will stand. All else will shatter like poorly made pottery in the heat of the kiln. In an instant it will become clear to all that the various rumblings, trials, and earthquakes of this life were mere tremors compared to the power of that first, thunderous, resounding note.
And those who in this life have taken the trouble to listen, to attune their tables to the soft but clear note of salvation that emanated from scripture and tradition, will be grateful to see their handiwork stand firm. Only at that moment will it occur to all women and men who have ever lived that their own lives were being arranged by God as instruments in a monumental explosion of beautiful music. Our halting, pained efforts at obedience in this world will be seen then as the discordant notes of musicians tuning their instruments before the symphony begins. When the conductor ascends to his podium, lifts his baton and gives the cue, we will be amazed to find that we not only recognize the melody, but we know the part we are to play – and, God willing, we will play it to perfection.
Our first section has come to a close. The Table of Self Knowledge will now fade from our reflections, but I pray that it will continue to be a useful metaphor for continued self-discovery. As with any analogy it is only a poor map to a vast and varied landscape. It fails in many respects to capture the full variety of our inner lives. I do hope that it will serve you in some way in your on-going exploration.
I urge you, however, not to get bogged down in self-examination. As one spiritual master put it, “…The interior life is not the introspective life. …If the life of prayer teaches a man anything it is that God is responsible for his life…, and that the more he goes out of himself to God the better.”
There is a danger in over-doing it. When we experience some early rewarding breakthroughs in self-knowledge, we may be tempted to linger upon our inward gazing, but it is important that we continue the journey. Only if you, along with your Discernment Advisor, recognize a need for inner healing or counseling should you stop at this point to linger on self-knowledge. Otherwise, we should press on.
Self-knowledge will become vain if it doesn’t lead us to self-gift. The two work together. As we make of ourselves a gift, we come to know ourselves more deeply. As we understand ourselves better, we are better equipped to give. And so we continue.
Meet with your Advisor to assess your progress at this time. And please accept this invitation to make a thorough and honest confession prior to beginning the next section. Instructions below include a guide for making a General Confession, which is a good preparation for deeper discernment. Our greater self-awareness should provide some powerful insights into the “why” behind the sins we commit. As you make your act of contrition, take care to reflect on the phrase, “...and to avoid the near occasions of sin.” Understanding now the hurts and habits that are your areas of greatest weakness, ask the Holy Spirit to lead you into greater purity.
As we end, so we will begin. Purity is the conclusion of this semester. Purity is the beginning of the next. We turn from the Table that is an altar and awaken to the surrounding reality of the Temple.
Novena Prayer
RENEWAL OF CONSECRATION TO MARY
Mary, please intercede for me during this Discernment Novena.
You heard the voice of the angel and trusted in the plan of God,
Teach me to listen and to trust.
You pondered in your heart the mystery of God’s unfolding will.
Teach me to silently reflect and discern.
You yielded to the power and grace of the Holy Spirit; gratefully receiving His gifts
Teach me to receive the gifts of the Spirit in my life.
You courageously followed the path marked down for you by God – even to the foot of the cross.
Teach me to be courageous in bearing with Jesus my own cross.
Mary my mother, I consecrate myself to you for the duration of this period of discernment.
Please pray for me that when the time is right, I will respond to God’s invitation in the same words as you:
“I am the servant of the Lord. Let it be done to me as you say.”
Amen.
Make it My Own
Daily Discernment Workbook
EXAMINE MY HEART
1. How to Make a Good Confession
As we conclude this portion of the Novena, we invite you to make a good confession. The work we’ve done in self-knowledge can lead to greater freedom as we bring our repentance to the Lord through the sacrament of reconciliation. Below are instructions for making a confession in the customary way. You are encouraged, however, to consider making something called a General Confession. This is a complete review of life that includes not only present sins but all sins that one can recall from the past, even and especially those that have already been confessed and forgiven. The purpose is not to dwell on faults, but to see the history of God’s work in us by renewed awareness of his constant mercy. Both options are presented. Use the link for a printable document describing a General Confession, or continue to the preparation for ordinary confession below.
Instructions for Making a General Confession
OR
Instructions for Confession (ordinary)
Bring an Examination of Conscience (below), a Bible, note paper and a pen/pencil.
Find a quiet place to pray where you won’t be disturbed.
Ask God to be with you and to guide your reflections - especially ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Something like:
Lord, I know that without your mercy and redemption I am powerless over my sins. I understand, too, that my sins wound you, and it was for these that you went to the cross. Send your Holy Spirit to reveal to me my sins, faults, and careless transgressions so that I can turn away from them, confess them, and receive your forgiveness and perfect mercy. Mary, Mother of Mercy and friend of sinners: Pray for me.
If time permits, and if you find it helpful, look up Psalm 19:8-15, or Psalm 32 or 51. Read them out loud as if addressing the Lord
Gather your thoughts and bring to mind, in a general way, what has happened since your last confession. Take out your Review of Conscience and read it over slowly. Give the Holy Spirit a chance to speak to your heart. As He brings sins to mind or as the things you read strike you, write them down. If you have a question about something, make a note of it and ask the priest.
What’s an Examination of Conscience?
Using the 10 Commandments as our guide we reflect on our faults and failing before God. Be confident in His mercy and His desire to forgive. Search your heart and ask for the ability to truly repent -- to turn away from -- your sins. Jesus knows that you struggle, but He will help you if you ask Him.
Important Note: Sins are not all the same. Some of the sins listed below are more serious than others. A grave or mortal sin is a serious offense against God which you freely and knowingly have committed. So, if you had no idea something was a sin (and honestly had no way of knowing) then your guilt is much less. Same if you were somehow forced into a sinful situation against your will - you may have no guilt at all. If you have questions, feel free to ask the priest or one of the brothers.
1. I am the Lord your God
You shall not have strange gods before me
Do I give God time every day in prayer? Do I seek to love Him with my whole heart? Have I been involved in superstitious practices or have I been involved with the occult? Do I seek to surrender myself to God’s word as taught by the Church? Have I ever received communion in a state of mortal sin? Have I ever deliberately withheld a mortal sin from the priest in confession?
2. You shall not take the Lord’s name in vain
Have I used God’s name carelessly or lightly? Do I deliberately hold any resentment or anger toward God? Have I wished evil upon any person? Have I insulted a sacred person or a sacred object?
3. Remember to keep holy the Lord’s day
Have I deliberately missed Mass on Sundays or Holy days of Obligation? Have I tried to observe Sunday as a day for spiritual renewal and rest?
4. Honor your father and your mother
Do I honor and respect my parents? Do I try to bring peace to my family? Have I been irresponsible in my duties as a member of my family? Have I brought unnecessary hardship or pain to my family through any of my actions?
5. You shall not kill
Have I had an abortion or encouraged anyone to have an abortion? Have I physically harmed anyone? Have I abused alcohol or drugs? Did I give scandal to anyone, thereby leading them into sin (scandal is action or failure to take action which sets a very bad example and places others in serious temptation)?
6. You shall not commit adultery
Have I engaged in any sexual activity outside of marriage? Have I used any method of artificial contraception? Have I been guilty of masturbation? Have I deliberately consented to sexual fantasies or thoughts? Have I respected all members of the opposite sex, or have I thought of other people as sexual objects? Have I been involved in any homosexual activity?
Do I dress in an immodest way? (That is, do I wear things that are too revealing which can be a temptation to others?) Do I read pornographic magazines, look at or watch movies or T.V. programs that include sexually explicit material? Do I look at pornography on the internet?
7. You shall not steal
Have I stolen what is not mine? Have I returned or made restitution (adequate compensation) for what I have stolen? Do I gamble excessively? Do I pay my debts? Am I generous toward others, especially the poor, with my material possessions? Do I work diligently -- and work my full shift -- at my place of employment?
8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor
Have I lied? Have I cheated on a test or paper? Have I damaged someone’s reputation because of my speech patterns? Have I gossiped? Am I critical, negative, or uncharitable in my thoughts of others? Do I keep secret what should be kept confidential? Do I negatively judge people’s motivations based on external perceptions or gossip?
9. You shall not desire your neighbor’s wife
Do I deliberately attempt to attract others to me in an impure way? Am I envious of others’ relationships and friendships? (Envy means that I’m not just jealous, but that I actively try to undermine those relationships) Do I relate in an impure way to someone else’s spouse? Do I seek to control my thoughts and imagination against sinful fantasies? Do I pray at once to banish impure thoughts and temptations?
10. You shall not desire your neighbor’s goods
Am I envious of what other people have? Am I greedy or selfish? Are material possessions the goal of my life? Do I trust that God will care for all of my material and spiritual needs?
Confession, Here’s how to do it
1. Say, “Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.
It’s been [ ] since my last confession.”
2. Priest will ask you for your confession.
3. Priest will give you a penance.
4. Say the Act of Contrition (below).
5. Priest will pronounce the words of Absolution.
6. Do your penance.
That’s it. If you are sorry, you’re forgiven!
ACT OF CONTRITION
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my sins, because of your just punishment. But most of all, because they offend you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.
(There are other Acts of Contrition, so if you normally say a different one, that’s fine.)
PROCEED TO THE THIRD CONSECRATION RITE BELOW
Conclude with
“Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be.
World without end, Amen.”
THIRD CONSECRATION
There’s a slightly different approach on this rite. You’ll need to begin the night before by placing your ebeneezer under your pillow. In the morning, as soon as you arise, conduct the rite as you have before…
You’ll need: olive oil, a teaspoon , a small dish or plate, a candle and the small stone you wrote your name on – your stone of help. You’ll also need a towel or some paper towels.
On a level surface, place the dish with your Ebenezer in the center. Near the dish, place the candle and light it. Have the olive oil to your right along with the teaspoon.
BETHEL: THIRD CONSECRATION RITE
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Read aloud the story of Jacob’s ladder (Gen 28:10-22)
Father, you made known to Jacob his destiny to be the father of a great nation. You promised that his descendants would be countless like the dust of the earth. Father, through your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, you have promised to those baptized into his body an eternal inheritance. Therefore I entrust to you my legacy, my heritage, my descendants in this world. Whether you call me to natural (fatherhood/motherhood) through marriage or to supernatural (fatherhood/motherhood) in a celibate vocation I will love and protect all those of your children you entrust to my care. I pray for the grace to guide them surely in the ways of your truth and lead them to your heavenly home.
Lord Jesus I turn now to you with deep love and faith. You revealed to Jacob the gateway to heaven and opened his eyes to the glories of your eternal dwelling. Jesus, I stand at the threshold of the second stage of this novena. In the coming weeks I will consider your temple as the heavenly model you have given us for right relationships. You were the temple destroyed by men but in three days raised up by the power of God. I ask, O Lord, that you will allow me access to your holy courts; that you will open my eyes to see the wonders of your temple. “Blessed is he whom thou dost choose and bring near, to dwell in thy courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of thy house, thy holy temple!” (Ps. 65:4)
(pour olive oil into teaspoon, and then pour the teaspoon out over the stone in the center of the dish).
Jesus, I consecrate this stone to you and I rename it Bethel. The name is for the house of God which stands open to those who sincerely seek you in faith. Lord Jesus, in the weeks to come when I feel this stone in my pocket, I will turn to you with love and say, “Lord Jesus, not to my name, but to your name be the glory.” Jesus, when I pray, please draw me to the very center of your temple, to the holy of holies, where you are hidden within the veil. Lord Jesus meet me there in peace and joy – as a silent and secret lover – to share the hidden manna of a living and mystical communion.
Lord Jesus, it is my joy to stand before you in praise. I pray that the days I spend with you in this novena, and my observance of the novena commitments will be pleasing in your sight. I pray for the grace to make a good and thoroughly honest confession. Finally, I pray for the grace to love others as you love them and thereby to attain to the pattern of your holy dwelling.
All this I ask in your name, Lord Jesus, who live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever.
Amen.
Hail Mary…
Dry off your Ebenezer and return it to your pocket.