Day 80. The Call: Recognizing God’s Voice - II
I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vista’d hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmed fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
Francis Thompson, The Hound of Heaven (excerpt)
We continue our reflection on the seven “P” principles.
God’s call is pure. There is purity, simplicity and purpose to what God says. God seldom speaks in paragraphs. His words are clear, few and direct. Though it may take time to arrive at clarity as to what he is saying, we can be sure that there is, in the end, clarity to be had. We have already considered St. Francis of Assisi who was praying in an old, run down chapel when Jesus from the crucifix spoke to him saying, “Rebuild my church” (Day 23). His renovation project was in full throttle until he discovered that our Lord had something bigger in mind. Jesus’ meaning, he later came to see, was the renewal of his whole Church as the beloved saint’s response – and his impact in Church history – makes abundantly clear.
A personal example may help. In one of those periods of frustration I mentioned earlier, I complained to God, “Lord, why am I growing so slowly? I feel like I’m getting nowhere!” I believe what came next was some kind of divine communication. A voice inside responded immediately, “Because eternal foundations take a long time to build.” The thought was so clear, and came from a source so oddly different from what normally goes on in my head. The idea was not new but this time it came through with such clarity that I remember the words exactly to this day. Which brings us to the next principle.
God’s call is permanent. God’s word endures. Whatever he speaks remains. In some cases, this can mean that God’s call is persistent. Many people experience a vocation, in its early stages, as an “idea with an attitude.” A thought I can’t shake. A sense of obligation or mission that simply will not leave me alone. Some, cut from the same cloth as the stubborn prophet Jonah, go to great lengths to avoid the call only to find in the end that there is no escaping it.
God’s call is permanent, too, in this sense: there is no going back. Whether we decide to obey or disobey, the word has fundamentally changed our relationship with God – and all other relationships as well. There is no return to the “way things were.” I see this in the account from John’s Gospel of the disciples going out fishing again after the resurrection (Jn. 21). Jesus calls to them from the beach and invites them to cast their nets on the other side of the boat. Their nets are immediately filled with fish. Note the familiar pattern – it’s the same way he called them the first time. Once they come ashore, Jesus commissions them as apostles and particularly Peter to “feed my sheep.” A return to full-time fishing is clearly not an option.
There is a further point to be made here. God doesn’t change his mind. Especially when we speak of a vowed vocation, there is no such word as “temporary.” Like the tattoo from our introductory reflections, the call of God makes a mark that’s lasting. You may think this obvious, but there are some who make a lifelong vow only to find years later that they want out. Attempts to justify infidelity have greatly muddied the waters as to what constitutes “faithfulness unto death.”
God’s call is powerful. “The voice of the Lord twists the oaks and strips the forest bare.” (Ps. 29:9) God’s command is a summons not a suggestion. It stirs, disturbs and impels. Our freedom is never compromised, as we saw with the rich young man, but the invitation is more than just an option for us to consider.
Further, the ability to say “yes” and the power to follow through comes directly from God. “For God is the one who, for his good purpose, works in you both to desire and to work.” (Phil. 2:13) This gives us confidence where we lack it. We find that at the right time (seldom early, never late) God’s grace is there to carry us from stage to stage along the journey – not only in our vocation, but in every aspect of our discipleship. Seemingly insurmountable obstacles are removed overnight, fears fade, doubts disappear. God makes a path through the wilderness of confusion, stripping the forest bare. And not just surviving but thriving. He will make us fruitful and our witness powerful (1 Sam. 3:19)
Two more points: the first on obedience and the second on mistakes.
About obedience. The word obey comes from the Latin root for “listen” (ob = toward, audire = listen) God speaks to those who listen; to those who obey. If we habitually resist his word, he grows silent. Discernment reaches its right conclusion in our loving obedience. Otherwise it becomes the process of finding God’s will so that “I can see how I like it.” It doesn’t work like that. When we hear, we obey and it starts today. A ready obedience in small things will lead to God speaking more clearly on greater matters.
Mistakes happen. In discernment, mistakes are to be expected. That’s okay. God understands that you’re just starting out. What father yells at his toddler for falling when she walks for the first time? Instead he is delighted and offers encouragement. And we sure need it! I have also come to appreciate that a good sense of humor is a must in learning discerning. Don’t be ashamed of making a wrong move. God wastes nothing. Even our errors, as we learn with St. Francis, become part of God’s unfolding plan.
You may find this last point raises a concern. “What about the final decision I make for a vocation? What if I make a huge mistake?” In fact, such an error would be very hard to make. Discernment is a three-way system of checks and balances. God, yourself and a representative of the Church are all necessary players in the process. The latter two must make a real effort to seek God’s authentic call. Nobody wins if you make a mistake.
If you fear being pushed into a role that isn’t right for you, remember that freedom is essential to self-gift. “There cannot be vocations unless they be free; that is, unless they be spontaneous offerings of oneself, conscious, generous, total.” A diocese or a religious community gains nothing by herding you into a commitment you have neither the will nor the desire to fulfill. As my own superior once put it: “We don’t want to live with someone who doesn’t want to be here.”
Novena Prayer
Jesus says: Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Pier Giorgio responds: To live without faith, without a patrimony to defend, without a steady struggle for truth – that is not living but existing.
Let us Pray: Blessed Pier Giorgio, teach me silence in the face of personal humiliation and unjust criticism. But guide me to be courageous like you in standing on the side of God’s truth. Help me to be faithful to Him in all things, so that His will may be done in and through my life. Show me how to persevere in the struggle for those things which are holy and honorable.
Blessed Pier Giorgio, I ask for your intercession in obtaining from God, Who is the source of grace and truth, all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I confidently turn to you for help in my present need: (in your own words, ask for the Lord to give you the grace to recognize and respond to his voice).
A Book of Prayers in Honor of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, by Rev. Timothy E. Deeter
Make it My Own
Daily Discernment Workbook
SAINTS SAID IT
1. God’s Words vs. My Thoughts: How Can I Know the Difference?
Teresa of Avila has been our trusted guide before on the question of recognizing the difference between God’s voice and our own thoughts which Teresa calls “the intellect.” Below are three passages corresponding to the three qualities of God’s voice we considered today: Purity, Permanence and Power. Choose the word which best fits with each passage below.
Another sign more noticeable than all the others is that these words composed by the intellect do not produce any effect. Those the Lord speaks are both words and works. And even though the words may not be devotional ones but words of reproof, they dispose the soul and prepare it from the very beginning, and they touch it, give it light, favor it and bring it quiet. And if the soul suffers dryness, agitation and worry, these are taken away as though by a stroke of the hand since it seems the Lord wants it to understand that He is powerful and that His words are works.
The quality of God’s words Teresa is describing corresponds best, I think, with the trait of:
Have I ever experienced God communicate with me this way? If so, I describe it below…
…For the Lord causes (His words) to remain in the memory so that they cannot be forgotten. But the locutions that come from the intellect are like the first stirrings of thought which pass and are forgotten. Those that come from God are like a work that – even though something of it is forgotten and time passes – it is not so completely forgotten that the memory of what in substance was said is lost, unless a long time has passed or they are words of favor or doctrine. But in my opinion there is no forgetting the words of prophecy, at least this is so with me even though I have a poor memory. p. 216 #7
The quality of God’s words Teresa is describing corresponds best, I think, with the trait of:
Have I ever experienced God communicate with me this way? If so, I describe it below…
In the words coming from God the experience is as though we were listening to a very holy person or to one who is most learned with great authority, who we know will not lie to us. And even this comparison is a poor one. For these words at times bear with them such majesty that even though one does not call to mind who it is that speaks them, they make one tremble – if they are words of reproof; and if they are words of love, they make one dissolve in love. They concern matters, as I said, which are very far from one’s mind. P. 215
The quality of God’s words Teresa is describing corresponds best, I think, with the trait of:
Have I ever experienced God communicate with me this way? If so, I describe it below…
The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila, Vol. I, The Book of Her Life, tr. By Kieran Kavanaugh, O.C.D. and Otilio Rodriguez, O.C.D., Washington, D.C., ICS Publications 1987
A QUOTE TO NOTE
2. The Courage to Choose
Making decisions can be very hard for some of us. But choose we must, because the failure to choose becomes, in the end, its own kind of choice. Fear of making mistakes can’t lead to paralysis. We need courage. Consider this quote from a Jesuit spiritual writer
Despite the humility and charity of a wise discerner, such a person must also be courageous. That is, the healthy self-doubt in the genuine discerner’s heart does not lead to timidity or paralysis, but rather to the courage to risk. Actually, the discerner does have a certain “certitude” concerning the Lord’s will for him or her. It is a certitude of faith and not of reason; and it is a practical certitude rather than theoretical; that is, I feel sure, after prayer and openness to direction, that I should act in this way here and now, and I am convinced that such action is the only honest, loving thing for me to do. I may not know the reasons why. Objectively, I may be mistaken. But the Lord does not ask us, thank God!, to be always right. What he asks is that we be always honest, always true to the best understanding of his will that we can attain to.
Thomas Green, S.J., Weeds Among the Wheat, Discernment: Where Prayer and Action Meet, Ave Maria Press
Have I ever held back from making a decision because I was afraid of making the wrong one? What’s a recent example?
Have I ever chosen something I though was God’s will only to find it wasn’t? If so, what’s my current state of mind about it? Am I still confused? Angry? Frustrated?
If I am still struggling with such an experience I ask God “Why did you allow this?” Then I prayerfully write God’s reply as if he were speaking directly to me.
GOING DEEP
3. A Revealing Prayer
As I pray the following prayer slowly, I consider what parts of it are hardest for me to pray from the heart and write about these in my journal. What’s holding me back from giving God my full trust?
A Prayer of Abandonment
My Father I abandon myself to you
Make of me what you will
Whatever you make of me, I thank you
I am ready for everything
Provided that your will be done in me,
In all your creatures
I desire nothing else, Lord
I put my soul in your hands
I give it to you, Lord
With all the love in my heart
Because I love you
And because it is for me a need of love
To give myself,
To put myself in your hands unreservedly
With infinite trust…for you are my Father
Charles de Foucald
Conclude with
“Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be.
World without end, Amen.”
[1] “The Church believes that Christ, who died and was raised up for all, can through his Spirit offer human beings the light and the strength to measure up to their lofty vocation.” Gaudium et Spes #10
[2] Paul VI, Message for the fifth World Day of Prayer for Priestly Vocations (April 19,1968): Insegnamenti VI (1968), 134-135