2nd Advisory Meeting
Once the candidate has concluded the 9 day Pre-Novena
Description: Having concluded the Pre-Novena, you evaluate together whether the Holy Spirit is leading the candidate to begin. Both must be in agreement for the Novena to continue beyond this point.
Meeting Agenda
Ask the candidate what she/he believes is God’s will concerning the Novena. “Do you think God is calling you to do the 99 Day Novena at this time?”
Explore questions and concerns together. Ask questions relevant to the issues mentioned above in the Pre-Novena overview. Try to assess whether there is a genuine openness on the part of the candidate. There can be doubts and hesitations, but there can’t be the sense that the candidate has no real intention of following God’s call if it’s different from the candidate’s own plans.
Along these lines, review practical considerations in continuing the Novena. Are travel or work plans expected to intervene? Is there significant pressure anticipated in the coming 90 days from work or school that would make it difficult to focus (like defending a doctoral dissertation or doing an intensive training that lasts more than a few days)? A family trip that won’t allow adequate time to do the daily meditations for more than two weeks could be a reason to wait. On the other hand, some travel situations can be advantageous. I have successfully gone through the Novena with students who were studying abroad. It’s somewhat harder to do pastoral meetings using online video forums, but it can work.
If you both decide to proceed, make sure you have the needed materials and schedule a meeting in roughly two weeks (it’s more desirable to meet after the two week mark than on the early side).
If you are proceeding, go over the 9 Novena Commitments together and lay out shared agreements for how the candidate will approach the various requirements. The purpose of these commitments is to keep them “on task” with the Novena, but not to make the process unnecessarily burdensome. As the DA you have leeway to adjust commitments along the way so that the candidate isn’t finding the Novena too much to manage, especially if also balancing a busy personal schedule.
If you and the candidate are not in agreement about proceeding with the Novena, it’s advisable to wait. If the candidate doesn’t think they’re ready, don’t push. Even if you believe they should discern, it’s important for them to feel free to initiate or delay discernment (or, for that matter, to skip it altogether. It’s their life and we can only offer our best advice). If you are the one who said, “no,” whether you don’t think the timing is right or don’t believe the necessary openness is present, it’s best to explain why. There is no need to convince the candidate, but you should feel free to decide you are not being called to go through the Novena with them. They are free to approach a different advisor, so don’t be insulted or second guess yourself if they do. In fact, if the candidate starts shopping around for another advisor because they don’t like what you say, it’s probably a good indicator that you made the right decision. Their ability to receive guidance is essential to the relationship.
Cover some basic “ground rules” and guidelines for future meetings. It helps to layout some expectations and understandings from the start. Here are the things I discuss: (a) the flow of a normal meeting, (b) confidentiality and (c) my openness to feedback.
A. Flow of Meeting: I signal the candidate that they should come ready to talk about what they’ve found significant in the material they’ve covered. It’s okay if they reach back further than the present stage, but in general the tone of the meetings is “what are you hearing and experiencing from what you’ve read and prayed about since our last time together?” I usually explain that I hope to hear from them and whatever they want to talk about, relevant to discernment and the readings/workbook. So I’m not going to do a lot of talking, but instead will ask questions and clarify what I understand them to be saying. I may at times redirect the meeting topic if there are aspects of this stage of the Novena I want to explore based on my notes (and this Guide). I signal them: Sometimes in our meetings I’ll change the subject to cover important elements. Please don’t feel like you’re “doing it wrong” if I do redirect our conversation. In fact, if you want to return to a particular topic please say so!
B. Confidentiality: As mentioned above, it’s important to be aware of any mandatory reporting laws or policies, whether state or church based, applicable to a counseling relationship like this. Here’s what I usually try to communicate: Whatever we discuss in this meeting I will keep confidential, but there are some exceptions I want to let you know about. If you are in danger of harming yourself or someone else, I may be required to report it. If you share something that indicates the abuse or negligence of a minor (someone under 18 years of age, generally), I am required by law to report it. While states still respect the seal of confession, be aware that our meetings are not covered under that provision (unless, of course, the DA is a priest and the person is in fact going to confession which has a specific sacramental form to it). With these exceptions in mind, I emphasize that in general these meetings and anything we talk about are for your assistance and will not be shared by me in any other conversation. So for example I won’t ask people to “pray for you because of this or that concern that came up in our meetings” unless you specifically ask me to. On a slightly different note, I explain to the candidate that they are free to disclose or not disclose any personal information as they so choose. In other words, I won’t presume to ask personal questions unless it’s relevant and helpful. Even when I do ask, the candidate is free to withhold any information they feel is too private. The balance to communicate is “openness without pressure or undue expectations.” Ask the candidate if they have any questions or concerns about this.C. Feedback. During the Discernment Novena, I encourage the candidate to let me know if there’s something they’d like to adjust in our meetings. I’ll make every effort to accommodate this input in light of my own abilities and limitations as well as the goals of this discernment process. The end of future meetings is a good time to ask, “Do you have any feedback for me that will help me help you better?”
Practical matters. If you agree to proceed with the Novena proper, make sure you both have access to the necessary materials to begin the Novena, especially the section entitled “The Table of Self-Knowledge.” Schedule your next meeting at least 15 days from the present date. Depending on the personality of the candidate, you may need to lay out some guidelines for contact between meetings. For example, some candidates want to be in contact frequently to report insights and graces flowing from the meditations and workbook. You can let them know your general availability and approach. You might say, “Feel free to contact me if you have practical questions or concerns about the Novena, but be aware that most of our discussion of what God is doing should be kept to our face-to-face meetings.”
