Day 18. Living on Illusions
This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away...to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph!
Yoda, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back,
20th Century Fox, 1980
Are you present to the present? So many of us are not. The old live in the past while the young, most often, live in the future: “Once I reach x (insert dream here), then I’ll be really happy.” It may be a certain age that you look forward to, or a certain level of wealth or achievement. It may be a special someone you hope to meet, or success in business, sports or politics. Whatever the particulars, young people frequently live in their dreams of future happiness. Do you want to reach a million followers, become an overnight TikTok sensation or rack up subscribers for your YouTube channel? What about something more physical/less virtual like winning fame as a world-class athlete, musician or writer? What future are you looking forward to? Take a minute and reflect on it. Not the immediate stuff like, “I’m looking forward to the weekend,” but the long term hopes that keep you going when daily life is a grind. Write down a few of your dreams in your journal.
I don’t want to imply that dreams or great plans are a bad thing. Far from it! Having goals and hopes for the future is extremely important. Dreams are natural and healthy. In fact, if you really have no hopes for the future you should start working on getting a few. Expecting nothing is no better than expecting everything. Maybe it is worse. Yet in looking to the future, we must not let our pillars – the legs of our table – become grounded in something that is only possible, not certain.
We’ve been looking at the Ground of Reality and doing some “soil sampling.” For the next few days, we’re going to look at some of the most common things people choose to ground their lives on. Today, we’re looking at our daydreams; our “escape” dreams. We use them to escape from the tedium of daily life, but by doing so, we also miss the power of the present moment. Many young people choose Great Expectations as the foundations for their lives. And dreams, as you may know, are notoriously unreliable.
Yet we often hear: “Follow your dreams.” We’ve already looked at this popular phrase. Here’s another one: “You can do anything if you really work hard at it.” Aim high, think big, seek greatness. If we understand what real greatness is, this is absolutely true. Sadly, our daydreams are seldom grounded in anything other than sand and clay. Is it only our Hope of Happiness that we rest on our future dreams? No, we can rest all of our pillars on dreams of escape. Let’s return to the most common example of this. It bears repeating because it is, for most, the hardest to let go of.
Do you live in the dream of a future special relationship? “I will be happy when I meet a guy/girl who will have these qualities and who will treat me in such-and-such a way.” Don’t think these ideas are on hold because you’re discerning. We’ve all got a “Plan B” which is really “Plan A” as soon as it shows any sign of actually happening. We’ll drop everything for our dream lover if someone comes along who even vaguely fits the bill.
While we wait for our dream lover, we construct a highly elaborate set of standards which we impose on the present in order to be ready for him/her. So when I exercise, I’m thinking about looking attractive for this future love. When I’m lonely, I think about him/her. When I wonder what I should do with my life, I picture this person coming along and making it all work out. It’s the “sweep me off my feet” mentality. Actually, it’s laziness.
Huh? Why is it lazy to dream about a future love? It’s not the dreaming that’s the problem. It’s escaping into those dreams so that you’re not present to the present. The present requires our full attention if it is going to form us into a strong, compassionate, patient, kind person like the one we ourselves hope to find some day. “Become the kind of person you’re looking for.” It’s a primary rule for vocations. If you wish to find the right person, become the right person. That means living in the present. It’s going to take some effort if you’re not in the habit of thinking this way.
We tend to run away from what’s going on right now. Maybe it’s too boring, or too confusing, or too hard. Seldom do we meet the problems of the day with our whole attention. “I’d rather be somewhere else...with someone else,” we think, distractedly. God wants to give us the strength, the smarts, the cleverness to overcome the challenges we face each day. That’s how we become mature Christians. The problems of the day aren’t just grief and aggravation; they are invitations to growth and cooperation with a very special gift of God. It’s called grace. His grace comes to us in the moment we need it. It is seldom early. It is never late. How can we begin to be present to the present? How can we begin to be attentive to what God is doing now?
Notice your patterns of thought. When you’re stuck on something hard, what’s your usual excuse? “I don’t have to sweat this exam (or whatever difficulty you may be facing), when I find the right guy/girl (or when I make millions, get famous, whatever) all of this won’t matter anymore.” Start by rejecting these excuses. Second, pray for the gift of focusing on the matter at hand. “Lord help me to pay attention to what I’m doing here.” Third, take pride in doing your very best on whatever you’re asked to do. Even if your best isn’t all that great, expect it from yourself in every situation. Ask God’s forgiveness when you “wimp out” and give only a half-hearted effort.
Our goal is to become fully what God has created us to be. That’s not just a nice direction for the future. It starts right now. If that’s not what you want, don’t bother continuing this discernment. “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (Jn 10:10, NIV). Jesus said it. We’re shooting for it. Accept nothing less.
Novena Prayer
Jesus says: “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Pier Giorgio responds: The faith given to me in Baptism surely suggests to me that of yourself you will do nothing; but if you have God as the center of all your actions, then you will reach the goal.
Let us Pray: Blessed Pier Giorgio, teach me true poverty of spirit. Help me understand that God cares for me; and that He asks me, in return, to care for others, especially those in need. Guide me to make choices in my life which will show a preference for service of God and neighbor, rather than accumulating financial wealth and social advantage for myself. Give me a special love for the poor and the sick.
Blessed Pier Giorgio, I ask for your intercession in obtaining from God, Who is the Lover of the poor, all the grace necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I confidently turn to you for help in my present need: (in your own words, ask for the Lord to grant peace, clarity and loving guidance in your discernment journey)
Note: We have concluded the first novena of the ten. Before we begin the next novena, we turn to our Lady and renew our consecration to her. That will be the novena prayer for tomorrow.
A Book of Prayers in honor of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati by Rev. Timothy E. Deeter
Note: We have concluded the first novena of the ten. Before we begin the next novena, we turn to our Lady and renew our consecration to her. That will be the novena prayer for tomorrow.
Make it My Own
Daily Discernment Workbook
BREAK OPEN YOUR BIBLE
1. They Were Ready
Read over the following passages and write down the responses of people who were attentive to the Lord’s timing and heard his voice. How do you know they were present to the present?
a. Genesis 22:1, 2, 10-12 Abraham’s response:
What do I want to learn from this for my own life?
b. 2 Samuel 5:22-25 David inquires of the Lord, and receives direction:
How can I apply this to a situation I’m facing right now?
c. Matthew 4:18-22 Jesus’ first disciples did what?
What activity would I find it hardest to drop when the Lord calls?
MAKE IT MY OWN
2. With My Whole Being
Whatever you do, work at it with your whole being. Do it for the Lord rather than for men, since you know full well you will receive an inheritance from him as your reward. Be slaves of Christ the Lord.
Colossians 3:23-24 [1]
In three sentences, I express in my own words what it means to work at something with my whole being.
Can I think of a time I put that kind of effort into any worthwhile task? What was it and why was I so motivated?
How did I feel after it was completed?
SAINTS SAID IT
3. St. Alphonsus de Liguori on the Use of Time
Nothing is so precious as time; and yet how comes it that nothing is so little valued? Men will spend hours in jesting, or standing at the window or in the middle of a road, to see what passes; and if you ask them what they are doing, they will tell you they are passing away time.
O time, now so much despised! Thou wilt be of all things else the most valued by such persons when death shall have surprised them. What will they not then be willing to give for one hour of so much lost time! But time will remain no longer for them when it is said to each one of them: “Go forth Christian soul out of this world, hasten to be gone, for now there is no time for thee.” How will they then exclaim, lamenting, “Alas! I have squandered away my whole life; during so many years I might have become a saint; but how far am I from being such; and shall I become such, now that there is no more time for me?” But to what purpose will such lamentation be, when the dying man is on the verge of that moment on which will depend eternity.
St. Alphonsus De Liguori [2]
In 2015, a study by Common Sense Media showed that teenagers spend an average of nine hours a day on their phones [3]. Those patterns carry over into our adult lives. What are my biggest time-wasters? Gaming? Streaming? Scrolling? Texting? How much time would I guess that I spend on these activities daily?
Based on this quote, if I died tonight, what would I have done differently with the time I wasted over the past week?
A QUOTE TO NOTE
4. Pope Benedict XVI on the “Now” of Discipleship
Speculation…, looking ahead into the unknown future – these are not fitting attitudes for a disciple. Christianity is the present: it is both gift and task, receiving the gift of God’s inner closeness and – as a consequence – bearing witness to Jesus Christ.
Benedict XVI, Jesus of Nazareth, Part II [4]
Why is focusing on the future a problem for a disciple? What do I risk missing if my mind isn’t in the present?
Do I think Benedict means never look ahead?
Conclude with
“Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be.
World without end, Amen.”
[0] lead quote - Star Wars, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, 20th Century Fox motion picture, 1980
[1] translation from Liturgy of the Hours, reading for Solemnity of St. Joseph, Evening Prayer I
[2] St. Alphonsus De Liguori, Preparation for Death, The Aesthetical Works, Volume I, 1843 tr by Rev. Eugene Grimm
[3] Cal Newport, Digital Minimalism, Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World, Portfolio/Penguin 2019, p. 104
[4] Benedict XVI, Jesus of Nazareth, Part II Holy Week: From the Entrance into Jerusalem to the Resurrection, tr. by the Vatican Secretariat of State, San Francisco, Ignatius Press, 2011, p. 282