Day 9. Carpe Diem
Vocation Discernment Preliminary Novena
“Am I Ready for Discernment?”
The same night [Jacob] got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had. Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then the man said, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying,“For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.”
Genesis 32:22-30 NRSV
Stand up and peruse the faces of the boys who attended this school sixty or seventy years ago. Don't be timid, go look at them.
They're not that different than any of you, are they? There's hope in their eyes, just like in yours. They believe themselves destined for wonderful things, just like many of you. … If you get very close, boys, you can hear them whisper. Go ahead, lean in. Hear it? '“Carpe Diem, lads. Seize the day. Make your lives extraordinary.”
Prof. John Keating to his freshman English class, Dead Poets’ Society
We come to the end of our Pre-Novena and to the beginning of the discernment Novena proper. Are you ready? Are you willing to leave behind everything on the far bank of the river and set your heart on seeking God’s plan? (Which may include some of the very things you leave behind!) Will you put aside your own plans for marriage and family? Dreams of wealth (or at least comfort)? Are you prepared to struggle and persevere in wrestling with God’s will? Are you fully aware that the road will call for suffering? If so, then we can begin.
If not, I say it again: Don’t proceed. Wait for the right time. There is no shame in this. God’s timing is mysterious – he isn’t nearly as restless as we are to uncover the path we should choose in life. Remember, the question of the unknown vocation isn’t as important as the vocation that is already known. You can be working on holiness no matter what life state you are currently living. You can be focused on obedience to God, dedication to prayer, faithful participation in the sacraments, growth in virtue, and witnessing to Christ wherever and whenever the opportunity arises.
There is great wisdom in putting holiness first. Otherwise we grow susceptible to a series of temptations. It’s a temptation to put your spiritual life on hold while you await the revelation of God’s will. It’s a temptation to think that a happiness that eludes you in the present will be supplied completely in some future vocation. It’s a temptation to forget that all vocations are a means of loving God in Christ Jesus, and that there is nothing to keep you from loving him now while you wait for clarity and direction in life.
Whether or not you start this discernment Novena, you can certainly start loving Jesus more fully today. He is captivating to anyone who sets his or her mind and heart on seeking his face. His warmth, his goodness, his compassion so evident in the Gospels, make his person powerfully magnetic. This is a man I want to know! This is a man I will follow! This is a man I want to be like! “(All) they were astounded and said, ‘Where did this man get this wisdom and these deeds of power?’” (Mt. 13:54 NRSV)
In loving Jesus, and in following Jesus, we begin to see the possibility of something greater for our lives. So many people, it seems, are content to pursue such limited goals: a steady job, a decent salary, a good house, etc. Once these are attained, one is left to wonder, “Is that all there is?” Will you be content with that?
Sometimes in prayer, I picture the day when all the people who ever lived will be assembled in some great heavenly hall where God will be enthroned in all his splendor. I imagine that seeing such glory and understanding suddenly and completely the great love and mercy we have all received, we will want to respond somehow in gratitude. Gradually, one by one, souls will come forward and lay at God’s feet beautiful gifts, and with each gift, God’s glory will shine with still greater radiance. Tears of joy and shouts of praise will be abundant as the vast multitude rejoices in response to each offering. Some will bring great gifts. Some will bring meager gifts. Some will be empty-handed. What are these gifts? The wealth of lives lived sacrificially, whole-heartedly, heroically for the greater glory of God.
What, I wonder, will be my offering on that day? When I think of appearing before God empty-handed, I shudder. Not because of His wrath, or because of any embarrassment I might feel. But only because of the anguished disappointment and unspeakable grief it would cause my heart to realize that I had missed my one opportunity to express to God my deepest gratitude for all He has done for me.
Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God, is worthy. Worthy of all you can give him. Worthy of all that you have and all that you are. His very person calls forth from us a response; an enthusiastic totality of self-gift. Still, what you give or how you give it is up to you, but consider carefully whether you want to meet him someday empty handed. In return for the gift of salvation you may one day have nothing to offer in thanksgiving but excuses and regrets.
Whatever your calling, whatever your course up the mountain, strive to reach the summit. “Make your lives extraordinary.” Accept nothing less than greatness. Not greatness for your sake. Greatness for the Lord’s sake, for the Lord’s glory. He is worthy and you, by his grace, are capable. It is said that the only real tragedy in life is that of having failed to become a saint. Don’t wait until your deathbed to figure this one out.
In the soul of every child of God there is the hunger for excellence. Feed that hunger through nothing more than daily obedience. It is so simple yet we make it so hard. Carpe diem, seize the day. Duc in altuum, set out into the deep. Verso l’alto! To the top!
Novena Prayer
MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
- Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude, © Abbey of Gethsemani
Make it My Own
Daily Discernment Workbook
BRAIN STORM
1. Make Your Lives Extraordinary
How would I like to be remembered? I write my own epitaph – a paragraph on what I’d like to be remembered for. Be specific – what kind of a name do I hope to make for myself in life?
EXAMINE MY HEART
2. To proceed or not to proceed?
I write in my journal my thoughts on this question. Am I ready to embark on this personal discernment pilgrimage? Am I genuinely prepared to put my own plans to one side? Am I willing to trust God and to believe that he really has my best interests in mind?
Conclude with
“Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be.
World without end, Amen.”
[0] lead quote - Dead Poets’ Society, Touchstone Pictures, 1989 motion picture
Once I’ve met with my Advisor…
If I choose to proceed with the Novena, and my Discernment Advisor agrees, I’ll need to perform this first consecration rite as described below.
FIRST CONCECRATION
Jacob…marked the place where God had appeared to him…by raising there a stone which he anointed with oil.
St. John of the Cross, The Ascent of Mount Carmel
Periodically throughout this Novena, you’ll be doing a short consecration rite using your Ebenezer.
You’ll need: olive oil, a teaspoon , a small dish or plate, a candle and the small stone you wrote your name on – your stone of help. You’ll also need a towel or some paper towels.
Go to a quiet, private place where you will not be interrupted, preferably to your bedroom. Not to a church or chapel. On a level surface, place the dish with your Ebenezer in the center. Near the dish, place the candle and light it. Have the olive oil to your right along with the teaspoon.
PENIEL: FIRST CONSECRATION RITE
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Read aloud the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel Genesis 32:23-31
Father in heaven, I give you praise for the gift of my baptism and for my vocation to be holy as you are holy.
Father, apart from the grace of your Son, my Lord Jesus Christ, I cannot fulfill this high call. Only by his atoning sacrifice on the cross have I been redeemed, forgiven of my sin and given a royal inheritance as your (son/daughter). Only through the work of the Holy Spirit am I being sanctified and guided toward the freedom that Jesus won for me and into the fullness of life he promised (John 10:10).
Father, I offer you these 90 days of prayer and discernment. I do not presume that you will give me answers according to my own timeline. Rather I make this Novena in the confidence that in YOUR time you will make known to me my particular vocation – and that path by which I may pursue my primary vocation to become holy.
(pour olive oil into teaspoon, and then pour the teaspoon out over the stone in the center of the dish).
Father, I consecrate this stone to you and I name it Peniel. Whenever I feel this stone in my pocket, I will turn to your Son in confidence and pray ‘Lord Jesus, not to my name, but to your name be the glory.’ Father, when I pray, please grant me the grace to continue the struggle throughout this long night of not-knowing. Give me courage to face myself, commitment to fulfill my promises, and vision to see myself as you see me – in the light of your love, and not in self-condemnation.
Finally, Father, I entrust myself to your incredible love. You made me and you know me through and through. You will not give me anything harmful, but rather, like the good Father you are, you will feed me and lead me and bring me home to you.
All this I ask in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever.
Amen.
Hail Mary…
Dry off your Ebenezer and return it to your pocket.